It's All About the Car
by Rensong
Summary: In which Kate and Tony argue about the true stars of all those classic movies and television shows.


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Spoilers: Call of Silence  
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_Authors Notes: This story was posted back in 2005 on an afternoon where I was bored enough to request prompts from my friends. One such prompt I recieved was "**You know what I want to see? NCIS Kate/Tony banter. Please?"** and this is what I came up with. Not sure if I got the character voices down as well as I would've liked, but I figure I'll post it anyway because stories involving famous automobiles are always fun._

_Also? I know absolutely nothing about cars, so most of what I have here was found online somewhere. If there's a mistake (which is always likely when you get Maren paired with Car Facts), feel free to point it out to me and I'll see what I can do to correct it.  
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~*~

It was a rather dead day at NCIS headquarters. Very dead, in fact. They had just finished the Ernie Yost case, clearing the kindly Medal of Honor winner of all the charges he had placed against himself, and hopefully freeing him from some of the guilt that had weighed heavy on his heart for the past 50 years. It was rare that a case they investigated had such a happy ending, so the entire office celebrated a bit by stealing a little free time for themselves before Gibbs came in. Someone had set up a table full of goodies back by the water cooler - nothing too fancy, just some crackers and cheese, some fresh fruit, a few bags of chips and an assortment of dips.

Technically, people were still "working", but there was a lot of conversation going on across desks. One such conversation (or, in this case, argument) was currently going back and forth between the desks of agents Kate Todd and Anthony Dinozzo.

"...1977 Pontiac Trans-Am, Smokey and the Bandit. Come on, Tony; this thing made it all the way across the _country_ with barely a scratch on it - and you remember how it jumped that bridge? Coolest scene ever."

"Oh, please," Tony scoffed, "that was only *one* scene… you want some awesome car jumps? Dukes of Hazzard and the sweet General Lee. 1969 Charger, and that baby jumped a _moving train_, among other things. Yet it still managed to stay one step ahead good ol' Rosco..."

Kate waved him off. "How so incredibly male of you, Tony." They had been arguing for the past fifteen minutes or there about, with no sign of either giving up any time soon. Kate mentally thanked each one of her car-obsessed high school boy friends and her Shop teacher Mr. Herley as the argument (which had started with a discussion on their favorite foreign foods, believe it or not. Tony had been bragging on how the Italians had the best sausages, and Kate had mentioned they had better cars, and the whole thing degraded from there) continued. "You want a kick-ass stunt car?" she finally continued, "James Bond, Goldfinger - A 1963 Aston Martin DB5. Bulletproof front and back windshields, oil slick, built in machine guns, and the famous passenger-ejector seat. If only the company car came with such an extra - it would make all those long, work-related road trips with you _so_ much more enjoyable."

Tony feigned hurt and leaned forward over his desk. "Now, Kate… would I do such a thing to you? I mean, sure, your aimless babble can get annoying at times, but be assured I would at least _stop_ the car before I ejected you out." Kate glared at him. Tony just grinned at her and leaned back in his seat, kicking his feet up to rest on his desk. "You want a cool car?" he continued. "The original Batmobile. A decked-out 1956 Lincoln-Mercury Futura. Every time that baby did one of her Bat-turns, it was magic." Tony got this dreamy, far off look on his face. "You know, Adam West used to actually drive the Batmobile around town between takes and do all those stunts. The cops got mad at him for leaving parachutes all over the place."

Kate thought about this for a moment. "Okay, so admittedly, the Batmobile was a cool car. But after all the extras they put on it so it could _do_ all those stunts, and all the different body modifications it had, I don't think it could have really be considered a Lincoln-Mercury anymore."

"Exactly!" said Tony, snapping out of whatever revere he had faded into. "It became a whole new breed of it's own! Come on, what other cars can you say _that_ about."

Kate shook her head. "No, I don't think it counts. Now the Viper RT/10 Roadster, _there_ is a cool car. It was so cool it got an entire television series based around it. Fastest street-legal car ever built, and in it's souped up silver "Defender" stage, it could wipe the floor with any one of the many Batmobiles any day."

Tony glowered. "Fine," he said, "You want a _real_ car? Crockett's midnight-blue Ferrari Daytona Spyder. V-12 engine, zero to sixty in 5.4 seconds. That thing was pure muscle, baby, dubbed the 'fastest production car of all time'. How much cooler can you get?"

"Oh, please," Kate responded. "I could crush that fiber-glass body using the aluminum can crusher I have in my kitchen at home. You want the ultimate muscle car? Think ahead a decade or so to Don Johnson's second police series, and Nash Bridges' 1970 Barracuda Convertible. That thing was supposedly 1 or only 14 Hemi convertibles paired with the 426 engine - also known as the "Holy Grail" of muscle cars."

"Dammit!" Tony said, and Kate smirked. There was no way he could beat that, and he knew it. A few seconds later, though, and he perked up again. "You know, the car they _actually_ used was a 1971 non-hemi 'Cuda, not the 1970. They one always showed had quad headlights - the original only had two."

"Well, duh, Tony," Kate answered, rolling her eyes. "Do you really think they would use one of the rarest cars in the world as a stunt car on some cop show?" Tony sulked again. Kate reclined back in her chair, wallowing in victory. She loved it when she won.

"PEOPLE," a familiar, gruff shout echoed cut across the murmur of voices in the office. "WHY THE HELL AM I NOT SEEING ANY WORK GETTING DONE?!" In one motion, Tony's legs dropped to the floor as he straightened up in his chair and faced his computer screen, trying to look as busy as possible. Kate followed suit, figuring she could save the gloating for another time, especially since it meant Death by Gibbs if she caught her gloating rather than working. A split second later, her would-be executioner came tromping around the corner, large coffee in hand.

"Hey, there, boss," Tony said, busily typing at his keyboard. Kate wondered what the heck he had to type. "I got those reports you asked for on Yost's Metal of Honor ceremony."

Gibbs reached over and took the offered files from Tony's hand, taking a glance at his computer screen while he did so. "And this 'sliuv eislha ior hadf' file you're working on; was one of the reporters at Mr. Yost's ceremony speaking in code, Tony?"

Well, that answered that question.

Tony had the grace to look guilty. "Ah... no, boss. That's just where my forehead is going to hit the keyboard when you smack me in the back of the head."

"Very good fore-sight, Dinozzo," Gibbs stated, just before he delivered the predicted smack. Kate choked back a snort.

"What are you laughing about, Kate?" Gibbs continued, getting himself situated in front of his own computer. "Unless the president awarded Ernie Yost a 1970 Barracuda along with his medal, I fail to see how you're planning on getting out of this one."

Kate glanced at Tony, who looked just as startled as she felt. "Um," she said, trying to find some words to explain their behavior while Tony mouthed 'How does he _know_?' at her. She shrugged, sending him her best 'It's Gibbs' look. "Sorry, Gibbs," she finally said. "It won't happen again."

They all worked in silence for awhile, Kate finishing up her report on the Ernie Yost case, Tony apparently doing the same, and Gibbs doing who knows what.

"The Knight Industry Two Thousand," he spoke up a few minutes later, "1982 Pontiac Trans-Am."

Kate simply blinked at him, earlier conversation all but forgotten. "Gibbs?" she questioned, not entirely sure where he was going with this.

Tony, however, didn't seem to have the same problem. Kate could almost see the light bulb go off over his head as comprehension dawned. "KITT!" he exclaimed, almost jumping from his chair in glee as he turned to rub it in Kate's face. "KITT would totally kick the 'Cuda's *ass*! HA!"

_Kit?_ Kate thought. Then she figured it out._ KITT from Knight Rider; a car with all sorts of cool gadgets and a brain. Dammit!_ Well, the whole winning thing was nice while it lasted.

"Sit DOWN, Dinozzo!" Gibbs shouted. Tony sat.

Gibbs shook his head and continued. "God, I'd take KITT over you two any day. Fewer stupid arguments, and we might actually get some *work* done around here."

Tony muttered a quick 'sorry, boss,' as he turned back to his computer screen. Kate smiled to herself as she did the same, looking over her report one more time before printing it out. Being outguessed by Gibbs was so much better than being outguessed by Tony.

~end~


End file.
